Wolfenstein

As you may have read in the previous post about why I started this blog, Wolfenstein... has problems.

First off, it's very muddy. Yes, muddy like it looks muddy, there is very little contrast in the lighting. Everything is like a shade of brown, some reddish, some yelloish, all ugly. It all looks the same. In a word, boring.

And the game handles very sluggishly. Now, I've shot my share of MP40s in videogames and I gotta tell ya, this was the slowest most sluggish MP40s I've ever shot. The Kar98s were down right unusable. Perhaps it's more "realistic" that way but really? I'm going to be shooting supernatural Nazi zombies or whatever and you're worried about making the gun more realistic? I'm sorry but not on my time.

And the enemy AI is dumb as F***. The same goes for friendly AI too. Oh, yeah, let me just charge right up in to enemy fire and die on you. The friendly AI which was supposed to "lead" me to the truck to get to the next level died half way there. Now, that's story telling there for ya. Realistic~. Again, sorry, not on my time.

Then the game expects you to sneak around and take guys out quietly. So I crouch and sneak up on a guy and press melee. What does B.J. Blazkowicz do? In stead of taking the Nazi out all cool Splinter Cell style, he pistol whips the Nazi on the butt and kills him. REALLY? ON THE BUTT? Sorry, again, not on my time.

This is all on top of grenades that bounce around like they're made of rubber and the constant swaying from left to right because, again, it's more "realistic" for your view to sway left and right like that. After all, you do that when you run for real. Really? You wanna know what's real? The lunch I just barfed up on my carpet because of your "real" sway is real, not the arbitrary way you're making your view sway left and right.

So, yeah. Literally thirty minutes was long enough for me. "Wolfenstein" gets a definite "Oh, hell no!" from me. Try at your own risk.